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It's 2012. Eat Dessert First.

Okay, is there anyone out there who hasn't heard about the Mayan Calendar prediction?

Didn't think so.

But I recently read that an actual date is mentioned for the end of the world--December 21, 2012--so maybe that gives us a little more time than I once thought. Almost a year. Mexico, home of the Mayans, has plans to lure vacationers and celebrants for a year-long party, never mind all the drug murders that are plaguing the place. Because it's the End of The Fucking World, get a little perspective on it, okay?

Well, I won't be able to visit Mexico but figure I can enjoy myself pretty thoroughly right here. I'm a New Orleanian, it's my civic duty. And it's not like we don't have drug murders of our own.

Hey, the Sugar Bowl comes to the Dome on January 3 and then Carnival begins on January 6 with actual Mardi Gras following in--like--February. LSU faces Alabama here for the BCS Championship on January 9, which ought to make for some serious partying. The Saints will host a playoff game somewhen right before, and that means revelry. Or at least distraction. If they lose, our tiny little local world will come to a temporary end. But then resurrect.

Because the Mardi Gras season will be upon us and after Mardi Gras comes St. Joseph's Day and St. Patrick's Day, Italians and Irishmen partying in the streets along with everybody else. Then it's French Quarter Fest and afterward Jazzfest, and my old friend John is coming to hear music and eat big, so amusement (or distraction) will not be in short supply. July brings summer camp for the Saints and August means scrimmages and pre-season football, so just about the time we've finally finished packing away our black-and-gold paraphernalia, we'll be digging it all back up again. It's hurricane season now and we'll be so scared out of our wits that the approaching End of The World will just have to wait in line.

But Halloween will arrive, we'll revamp our Mardi Gras costumes to go act stupid with old pals or maybe attend Voodoo Fest for great music. Thanksgiving follows, feasting and drinking and laughing, and FOOTBALL, and if the Saints are having a good year, that'll be just one focus of attention, what with Christmas looming like a tinsel tsunami on the horizon, presents to buy and big-time debt to get into, and--

PFFFT! (Or BANG.) (Or whimper...)

(For some reason, the prospect doesn't frighten me at all. From where I sit right now, I figure I'll be able to use the rest.)

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